|Written by Stephanie Finnegan|
A few months ago, I took one of these quizzes to discover â€śWhich crazy womanâ€ť I was. I turned out to be the despondent, poetic Sylvia Plath. For me, that was a perfect match. If I could have, I would have bet on that outcome and raked in some winning chips.
So, what does this have to do with dolls? If you have the inclination and an hour to kill, you can uncover what doll you are. Just Google â€śWhat doll are you quizâ€ť and let the games begin!
There are actually a few dozen sites that set you up with questions that purport to channel your inner Patti Playpal. I took part in seven of the quizzes, and hereâ€™s what I learned about myself.
When it comes to the American Girl series, Iâ€™m â€śMolly,â€ť the spectacle-wearing, hair-braided young lady who comes of age during World War II. She is sensible, inquisitive, and a loyal friend. What a nice concept! And what a glowing description of me! This is like stumbling upon your horoscope for the first time, back when youâ€™re in the fourth grade.
Not content to just be â€śMolly,â€ť I soldiered on. I next discovered that I am â€śJade,â€ť one of the big-lipped, large-headed Bratz dolls. This one looks like a younger, more plastic version of Angelina Jolie. Hmmm, I check in my mirror; I didnâ€™t really see that one coming. I always felt my lips could use a dose of collagen, and my cranium easily fits through turtleneck holes. Iâ€™m growing skeptical about this whole pop quiz setup.
Determined now to find out WHO I really am, I persisted. Did you know if I were one of the Ugly Dolls, I would be â€śJeero.â€ť Well, I donâ€™t know a whole lot about the Ugly Dolls, but I have to say â€śJeeroâ€ť is the most co-dependent, confused, and stationary of the creations. He needs to be constantly cuddled, protected, and fed (junk food preferably). I have to admit, some of that sounds like meâ€”not a very flattering self-realization.
Dressup Doll? I took that quiz as well, and I am a â€śPreppy,â€ť known to be smart and to work hard. Who wouldnâ€™t want to be portrayed that way? I am pleased to be a cyber â€śPreppy,â€ť but I canâ€™t really see me in that light in real life.Answering questions that seemed to contradict each other, and honestly taking the whole process seriously, I also unearthed that I am â€śBarbieâ€ť (apparently a generic summation, no particular one given), â€śSadieâ€ť of the Living Dead Dolls, and â€śShinku,â€ť a doll of the Rozen Maidens. (Huh?)
Take an hour and see what doll you are. You might be pleasantly surprised by the comparisons. At the very least, youâ€™ll be exposed to the current doll lore that has saturated the marketplace. Plus, there are scads of dolls that seem to be flying beneath the mainstream radar, and hereâ€™s a chance to learn up-close what they look like and whom they appeal to. (Believe me, I am NOT the target audience. In some cases, I think the sites froze up when they tried to calculate my age and birth date.)
Sure, all of my results should be taken with a grain of salt. Still, I like discovering that I am a large-headed, big-hearted couch potato who looks fabulous in pink, adores spangled shiny jewelry, will not allow death to keep me down, and will battle evil forces to bring other dolls back to life. That is, after Iâ€™ve digested copious amounts of potato chips and finished a swell game of squash, with a vocal cheering section! Not a bad rĂ©sumĂ© to compile while Iâ€™m waiting for my own real-life doll, Jane, to get out of dance class. I wonder what doll my 5-year-old most resembles? I see some mother/daughter bonding on the cyber horizon.
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