Roger Daltrey wasn’t the first to ask the question, but he certainly was the loudest. The curly-haired, strong-lunged singer forcefully belted out “Who are you?” and listeners took note. The quest for peeling back one’s onion layers used to last an entire lifetime, and involved month-long stints at ashrams, dialogue with gurus, and years spent on the analyst couch. Nowadays, people can ask themselves the same self-defining query, and be supplied with the most in-depth responses instantaneously. I’m talking, of course, about online quizzes that match the participant with all avenues of careers, nationalities, movie heroes, and literary greats.
A few months ago, I took one of these quizzes to discover “Which crazy woman” I was. I turned out to be the despondent, poetic Sylvia Plath. For me, that was a perfect match. If I could have, I would have bet on that outcome and raked in some winning chips.
So, what does this have to do with dolls? If you have the inclination and an hour to kill, you can uncover what doll you are. Just Google “What doll are you quiz” and let the games begin!
There are actually a few dozen sites that set you up with questions that purport to channel your inner Patti Playpal. I took part in seven of the quizzes, and here’s what I learned about myself.
When it comes to the American Girl series, I’m “Molly,” the spectacle-wearing, hair-braided young lady who comes of age during World War II. She is sensible, inquisitive, and a loyal friend. What a nice concept! And what a glowing description of me! This is like stumbling upon your horoscope for the first time, back when you’re in the fourth grade.
Not content to just be “Molly,” I soldiered on. I next discovered that I am “Jade,” one of the big-lipped, large-headed Bratz dolls. This one looks like a younger, more plastic version of Angelina Jolie. Hmmm, I check in my mirror; I didn’t really see that one coming. I always felt my lips could use a dose of collagen, and my cranium easily fits through turtleneck holes. I’m growing skeptical about this whole pop quiz setup.
Determined now to find out WHO I really am, I persisted. Did you know if I were one of the Ugly Dolls, I would be “Jeero.” Well, I don’t know a whole lot about the Ugly Dolls, but I have to say “Jeero” is the most co-dependent, confused, and stationary of the creations. He needs to be constantly cuddled, protected, and fed (junk food preferably). I have to admit, some of that sounds like me—not a very flattering self-realization.
Dressup Doll? I took that quiz as well, and I am a “Preppy,” known to be smart and to work hard. Who wouldn’t want to be portrayed that way? I am pleased to be a cyber “Preppy,” but I can’t really see me in that light in real life.Answering questions that seemed to contradict each other, and honestly taking the whole process seriously, I also unearthed that I am “Barbie” (apparently a generic summation, no particular one given), “Sadie” of the Living Dead Dolls, and “Shinku,” a doll of the Rozen Maidens. (Huh?)
Take an hour and see what doll you are. You might be pleasantly surprised by the comparisons. At the very least, you’ll be exposed to the current doll lore that has saturated the marketplace. Plus, there are scads of dolls that seem to be flying beneath the mainstream radar, and here’s a chance to learn up-close what they look like and whom they appeal to. (Believe me, I am NOT the target audience. In some cases, I think the sites froze up when they tried to calculate my age and birth date.)
Sure, all of my results should be taken with a grain of salt. Still, I like discovering that I am a large-headed, big-hearted couch potato who looks fabulous in pink, adores spangled shiny jewelry, will not allow death to keep me down, and will battle evil forces to bring other dolls back to life. That is, after I’ve digested copious amounts of potato chips and finished a swell game of squash, with a vocal cheering section! Not a bad résumé to compile while I’m waiting for my own real-life doll, Jane, to get out of dance class. I wonder what doll my 5-year-old most resembles? I see some mother/daughter bonding on the cyber horizon.
As a doll collector, I always knew there had to be an inner doll residing within and guiding me to the proper purchase. Who knew I had so many multiple personalities and appearances? Pictured here, Molly, Jade, Jeero, Sadie and Shinku, just five of the playthings that apparently make me tick.