|Oscar Opus: A cyber awards show made for collectors to feel like a red-carpet winner!|
|Written by Stephanie Finnegan|
|Tuesday, 28 February 2012 18:31|
Watching it this year, I began to think how great it would be if we could all have an evening of unadulterated air-kissing and sublime sucking-up. Wouldnât it be marvelous if you could go out in your personal life and sport an outfit to-die-for, and have people clap wildly as you entered a room and then smile and take notes as you explain what you are wearing. (âItâs from Kohlâs, Joan. I got it for 60% off, plus $20 in Kohls bucks, so I only really spent $40 in cash for it! Itâs a designer knock-off, Melissa!â)
We all should be able to feel like Meryl Streep for a night: revered and cheered. So, with that in mind, I am launching the cyber Finnies, an award for doll lovers who represent excellence in collecting, showcasing, buying, browsing, and sharing their passion for the hobby. The Finnies (an abbreviation of my last name) are shaped like an 11 Â˝ -inch fashion doll dipped in gold. They are not anatomically correct, and even the rooted hair has a shell of gold emblazoned across it. If Donald Trump were a collectibles magnet instead of a real-estate baron, this is an award he would covet to use as a paperweight in his boardroom. Yes, the Finnie is that golden and that desirable!
As you imagine the Finnie and cradling one for your very own, please picture Angelina Jolie as she struck that bold and provocative pose on the Oscars stage. Earning a Finnie means that YOU are top of the line in the doll world, and if life were fair, youâd be canoodling with Brad Pitt tonight. (Or Ryan Gosling, or Matthew McConaughey, or George Clooney, or Jean Dujardin. Fill in your own heartthrob!) So, put your arm on your hip, throw your mane back, and flash an acre of legs! These are your awards, and youâve earned every inch of the sparkling prize. You go, golden girl!
So, stop the presses! Stop the mold making! The Finnies will be shaped like a world-famous movie starâs right gam! Like the dad in âA Christmas Story,â who won a fishnet-stocking-clad leg-lamp, that is what these MAJOR awards will be. They are testaments to having a collectible leg to stand on, in the face of all else.
Most Selfless Collector of the Year: If youâve debated buying a new pocketbook for yourself, but then decided that a piece of duct tape strategically placed across the tearâand maybe decorated with your daughterâs scrapbook stickers (you like fairies and flowers)âcould do the trick, youâve earned this Finnie. Youâve delayed sprucing up your own wardrobe and accessories so you could buy that new Goodreau BJD or a brand-new outfit for a doll from Marble Halls. Your sacrifice for your dollâs greater good has been acknowledged and awarded. Flash that leg!
Most Athletic Collector of the Year: Viewing a room that is awash with collectibles, youâve not let the lack of space get you down. Armed with a feather duster and a mild case of vertigo, you scale the back of your couch and clean the heck out of the top of the TV armoire. You realize that if you move the smallest dolls to the top of this furniture, you can open up more space below. Risking life and limb, you are willing to climb on top of all manner of household appliances to show off your collection. If there is a footstool or an ottoman that can give you a boost, youâre on top of it! Youâve reached new heights in collecting. Flash that leg!
Most Enthusiastic Collector of the Year: If you have your calendar marked for when DOLLS magazine arrives in your home mailbox and in your digital in-box, you are a true-blue doll fan. When you get the magazine, do you devour it from start to finish? That means you are in the running for this nod. Now, hereâs the tiebreaker. In addition to a cup of tea, a piece or two of chocolate, and a comfortable chair, does your DOLLS reading require a calculator? If it does, youâve grabbed this honor. You know that you have to start adding up how much your wish list would cost you; how much your real list will cost you; and how much your birthday, Christmas, Valentineâs, and maybe Groundhog Day gifts will cost everyone else for you. You are enthusiastic. Flash that leg!
Most Confident Collector of the Year: When asked by an exasperated visitor, âWhy do you collect?â you donât delve into the sociological or psychological reasons for acquiring inanimate objects. You donât get frazzled or frantic. You donât lose your temper or your cool. You stare your questioner down, and in your best Clint Eastwood sotto voce voice, you turn the tables on him: âThe question should be, why DONâT you collect? Huh, punk? Why donât YOU?â Thatâs magnum steel bravado! Flash that leg!
And finally . . .
ÂMost Improved Collector of the Year: Youâve watched episodes of âHoardersâ and have vowed never to let that happen to you. Youâve gone into your basement, or up into your attic, or into your âjunkâ closet, and have pulled out the dolls from your past that have been languishing and collecting dust. Youâve successfully sold some on eBay; donated others to charity; and gifted a few to young children who have the potential to be good stewards in the future. And when the sun has set, and a new day has begun, youâve looked at the state of your current collection, and you know it still has room for one or two more dolls . . . or maybe three or four. You are going to buy with quality in mind, but you wonât beat yourself up if it spirals into quantity. Donât waste your time being angry at yourself for such a fleeting, fun pastime. Life is too shortâyour doll collection shouldnât be. Go ahead, and flash that leg!
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